My Love Forgive Read online

  “I promise you last night won’t happen again. I want to see you again. Say yes.”

  “Damian—”

  “Say yes or I won’t unlock the door.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Try me.”

  24

  Her endearing grin proved she didn’t believe in how serious I actually was. She probably thought I was teasing. I did a lot of that with her.

  It was easy. It was fun. It was different for a man like me. I didn’t have to engage in sophisticated flirtation, all following the same script.

  “All right.” She uncrossed her arms and hissed in agitation, “Now you have to get out of here before someone catches you and gets you fired.”

  “Would you care?”

  “Of course I would! I’d probably get fired too for fraternizing during business hours!”

  “Very well, little girl. I’ll be by later to organize your file trees.”

  Risa’s shy gaze met mine. “I wasn’t really serious about that.”

  She likes me calling her little girl. I’ll have to make sure I call her that often.

  “Lucky for you I am. Your messy system is going to cause you problems. It’s best to take care of it now.”

  “Maybe I like my system.”

  “Maybe you’ll like mine better.”

  She capitulated rather easily. “Oh, okay. I guess it’s worth trying.”

  Indeed. Her cheeks bloomed in a becoming shade of pink. I wondered if she knew how easily she blushed in my presence. “Risa?”

  “Yes?”

  “There’s just one more thing I need from you before I let you out.”

  “What is it?”

  “I went looking for you last night and couldn’t find you. I called you and couldn’t get a hold of you.”

  “Yes, I know. You told me this already.”

  I reached out and brushed the back of my fingers against her collarbone. “You put me in a terrible position, Risa. I was very worried about you and that’s simply unacceptable.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sure you are but that’s not enough, little girl.” The otherness of me was rising ever-stronger to the surface.

  She fidgeted and struggled to ask me, “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

  “I need something from you in return for all the aggravation you put me through.”

  Since the moment I met you actually.

  “What if I buy you lunch?”

  “No.”

  “Umm, okay. Dinner?”

  “No.”

  “What do you want then?”

  I leaned down and whispered against her neck, “You were very bad, Risa. You were just a little girl out there in a very big world. What if a bad stranger decided to make you his little girl whether you liked it or not?”

  Risa’s nervous giggle echoed charmingly in my ear. “You’re being silly. I’m a big girl, Damian. No one is going to do anything to me. Besides, it wasn’t that long of a walk.”

  “Really? Well, then how come this much bigger man just locked you in a public bathroom without your permission? And just so you know—it was so very, very easy, little girl.”

  “Damian!” Risa stuttered breath wheezed against my neck. “Stop trying to weird me out.”

  “Am I frightening you?”

  “N-No!”

  Liar. You are scared. Good. Maybe next time you won’t walk alone at night.

  “You’re not afraid of me?”

  “Of course not!”

  “Good. Since you’re not afraid of me then you must know my feelings about your recklessness come from a good, nonthreatening place.”

  “Sure.”

  “So as a nonthreatening, much larger man who’s locked you in a public restroom, I need you to know that you really shouldn’t be in here with me.”

  Risa’s palms half-heartedly pushed against my shoulders. “I do not agree.”

  “I didn’t think you would.” I stepped back from her and ordered, “Turn around, hands on the counter, and bow your head.”

  “What? No way!”

  “Do it now, Risa.”

  “No!”

  Her defiance whetted my appetite for dominance. My voice lowered, deep and menacing beneath the edge of calm. “Yes. Do it now or things will get that much worse for you.”

  Risa squeaked my name. I noticed her fingers tangling and re-tangling themselves.

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am. Do it.” I punctuated my command with a placid smile.

  She bit her lip and swayed in indecision. Just when I was sure I’d have to force her, Risa turned around and did as I instructed.

  “You’re such a good girl.” I stepped closer, aware of her panicked fixation on my mirrored reflection. “I promise this won’t take long.”

  Risa’s spurt of nervous laughter died a quick death when I slid my hand up her thigh. “What are you doing?”

  Taking a huge risk apparently.

  “Ssh. You’ll soon see.” I flipped her skirt up with a deft flick of my wrist. Conscious of her growing panic, I made sure I kept my gaze on Risa’s duplicated stare. “I won’t pull your panties down this time, seeing that it’s your first time, but I’m sure a naughty little girl like you will definitely be in this position again.”

  “Damian, aren’t you taking this too far?”

  “I’m not taking it far enough. Thank me for my consideration, Risa.” Her stubborn silence provided me the perfect opportunity.

  Smack!

  My growl ravaged her strangled scream. “Thank me, little girl.”

  Risa’s shoulders rose up as her head sank. She quivered, eyes overly bright, cheeks painted scarlet, and mouth agape in a heady mixture of outrage and lust.

  Smack!

  I had this gorgeous slip of a woman completely. Confidence roared through my veins. “Say, ‘Thank you, Damian.’”

  She moaned a tiny delicious sound of distress. Risa shifted, body language clearly torn between obedience and fighting just to fight.

  Smack!

  “We’ll keep doing this until you give into what I need from you.”

  When I raised my hand high in the air she screeched, “Thank you, Damian!”

  “Good girl.” I brushed my palm over her bottom. “Now, I’m going to discipline you by giving you five spanks. Do you know why I’m doing this?”

  Risa locked onto my mirrored stare. She struggled to whisper, “Because I made you worry?”

  “Yes. You threw a tantrum by walking off into the night. You didn’t give one thought to how dangerous it was nor did you give one thought to how worried I would be. You then refused to take my calls—adding more worry to my already worried state. That’s unacceptable, Risa.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Her husky whisper convinced me of her sincerity. I allowed myself a smile. “Now be a brave girl and this will soon be over. Can you be a brave little girl for me?”

  She nodded. Her wide gaze told me what her words didn’t—she was immensely excited by how I was treating her. Risa Kelly wanted me to fetishize her height. I found myself needing no prompts to do just that.

  “No, I want you to answer me using your big girl words.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes what?”

  “Yes, I can be a…brave…”

  “A brave what?” I prompted her with just enough command in my tone to comply her obedience.

  “I can be a brave little girl for you, Damian.”

  I beamed, completely proud of her and our small victory together. I made sure to inject warmth into my tone. “You’re such a quick learner. Now get ready, okay?”

  “Yes, Damian.”

  I resisted the urge to kiss the top of her head. Order and ritual were everything. I had to ensure I maintained discipline to follow both or Risa was liable to become confused.

  I knew she would fall right in line. She’s absolutely made for me.

  I didn’t allow my ga
ze to leave hers, knowing I needed to forge this important link between us. I dropped my hand on one rounded globe before switching to the other.

  And then I truly began breaking Risa down to becoming the other half of my hidden self.

  “Do you agree that you were an insensitive little girl who stomped off in a fit last night without regard to how much I might worry?”

  “Yes!”

  “Do you agree that it was reckless and dangerous of you to do it?”

  “Yes!”

  “Do you agree that you shouldn’t have done it?”

  “Yes!”

  “Do you agree that you will never, ever ignore your safety in favor of pride again?”

  “Yes!”

  “Last one, little girl.”

  “Oh god!” She didn’t seem to care that her voice had grown increasingly louder. It echoed all around us, but I also didn’t seem to care about the possible consequences either.

  My breathing accelerated and my shaft felt unbearably full and heavy for Risa. I wanted to pick her up and slam her against the wall as I ravished her body until I was sated long enough to carry her out of the building to do it again.

  In my car, in my apartment, in her apartment…

  “Do you agree that I will discipline you again if you ignore this?”

  “Yes, Damian, yes!”

  I pulled her skirt down. Grasping her lightly by the arm, I turned Risa into my embrace. “You did so well, little girl. I’m so very proud of you. Ssh. Don’t cry. It’s all over.”

  Risa squeezed my waist and burrowed her face against my chest.

  That was when I felt it—happiness.

  25

  RISA

  Disorientation threatened to disconnect my head from my body. Our exchanges of love seemed a hallucination. My plans to obey and undermine Damian disappeared in a burst of shock.

  “I can’t go if you’re watching me.”

  “You eventually will.”

  “But what if I have to…”

  “Shit?” He waited for my reluctant nod. “Then you’ll have to shit.”

  “No way. No fucking way! I can’t do that with you here. I won’t do that!”

  “You’ll be awfully uncomfortable, Risa, for no good reason at all and then you’ll do it anyways. You might as well get it over with now if you have to go.”

  “You’re crazy! Fucking bonkers!” I whipped away from him. The beige wall wavered, rippled, and sloshed about beneath my panicked stare. My shoulders hunched over in a pitiful attempt to hide the shudders cutting through my body.

  “You’re only crying because you’re resisting.”

  I struggled to curse him before warbling, “I’m crying because this is humiliating.”

  “Because you’re resisting.”

  Damian turned me around. The chain slithered across the cold tiles, mocking me on my weakness in giving into this wicked man so easily. I tucked my chin against my shoulder and tried to smother my sobs.

  How was I going to survive long enough to steal my freedom if Damian was going to put me through this?

  “Risa! Didn’t you just promise to do this without fighting me?”

  “I didn’t promise you not to fight. I said I’d try.”

  “That’s not—”

  “You can’t ask this of me! You’re making me suffer just to do it!”

  “And I’m not suffering hearing my little girl cry like this?” Damian lifted me up and covered my face with kisses. “It hurts me too because I love you so much.”

  “I don’t want you to watch me!”

  “It’ll be okay, Risa.”

  “No, it won’t!”

  “Yes, it will.”

  “No! This isn’t sexy…or…or any of those things we usually do!”

  “This isn’t about being sexy. I don’t want to watch you go to the bathroom because I find it arousing, Risa. I don’t. I want you to do this because I don’t want there to be any more walls between us.”

  “This should be private. You don’t have the right to force me to do something like this.”

  “You use privacy as an excuse to close yourself off from me.”

  “And watching me go the bathroom is supposed to bring us closer?”

  “Yes.”

  I couldn’t let him use what I had really wanted for us as a way to seduce me into compliance. The time for closeness was over. “Damian, I really don’t want to do this!”

  “What’s the worse that can happen, Risa? We all go to the bathroom. There’s nothing you’re going to do that I haven’t done.”

  My bladder was fit to burst by this point. I groaned and fidgeted as I hadn’t since I was a small child. Damian set me back down on my feet and stepped back.

  “I’ll be very disappointed in you if you make me have to mop up your mess.”

  I glared at him, daring Damian to remind me to stop frowning or to tap my forehead with his pointer and middle fingers. Boredom etched across his face. Damian crossed his arms, leaned back against the wall, and waited.

  Oh God! I’m going to have to do this.

  “Fine, you sick bastard!” I fixated on the floor as my fingers fumbled with the button on my jeans. Yanking them down, I plopped onto the toilet. I bent over and clenched my eyes shut. Urine flowed out of me as quickly as my muscles could push out.

  Oh! He can hear me pee. This is so embarrassing. Thank God I don’t have to do the other thing yet. I won’t have to because I’ll be free by then. I’ll hold it forever if I have to.

  Wiping as quickly as sanitarily possible, I flushed and hauled my pants up. I washed my hands and continued to avoid looking over at Damian.

  “Go ahead and brush your teeth while I reheat your breakfast.”

  The door closed behind me with a non-dramatic click. I stared dumbly at the spot where he’d last been.

  That’s it? No gloating? No lecture? Nothing?

  Clumsy fingers snatched the unopened toothbrush and I ripped it free from the plastic sleeve. I went about the thorough motions of brushing my teeth, not wanting to think too hard on the humiliation that had just occurred. How could he have expected that from me and how come I couldn’t fight back hard enough?

  Damian came in just as I set my toothbrush in the chrome holder.

  “Breakfast is ready again. Go ahead and eat it.”

  I didn’t want to look at his face. I skittered out the door before Damian could change his mind, the metallic method of my captivity hissing ever-faster as I fled. I hopped up onto the bed to escape it. The chain landed with an unnervingly predictable thump.

  I fought to find a way to deal with what had just happened, to already make it less horrifying so I keep myself from breaking down in tears.

  Just treat it like a game for the moment. How bad can it be? Damian’s already spanked me, choked me, spit on me, and come all over my face. Many, many times. And I’ve loved them all.

  I can do this. It’s still Damian. It doesn’t matter as long as I get to go free.

  The pep talk rang hollow.

  “I told you to eat your food. Not stare at it.”

  I startled and reached out for the tray. Damian whistled another sigh of disappointment. He walked over to the bedside and neatly plucked it away from my fingers.

  “What did I do wrong this time?”

  “It was a very simple thing I asked you to do. Eat your breakfast. You refuse to do even that.”

  “I’m not refusing. I was just thinking about things.”

  “Like what?”

  How to leave you for starters.

  I avoided answering by asking, “Can I have my food now? It looks really good.”

  Damian held the tray aloft. His detached stare shattered my cheerful façade.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Like what, Risa?”

  Like I disappointed you. Like I’m not worth the time you spend on me. Like you know exactly what I’m really trying to do by giving into you.

  �
�Like nothing. Nothing important.” I punctuated the lies with a small shake of my head.

  “All right then.” Damian turned away. He opened a door different from the one he came in and walked out of the room, taking my delicious food with him.

  I shouted, fully expecting him to come back. Several minutes passed. I crept off the bed, ever-conscious of the chain tethering me in place. The cold links pressed into my palm as I kept the fetter from hitting the floor.

  What did I do wrong now, Damian?

  The open doorway beckoned with mirage intensity. When I reached it, I more than halfway expected Damian to shove me back and close the door. Peeking around the edge, I ignored the king-size bed on a raised dais, the wall of windows, and the lit fireplace because I spotted him sitting on a loveseat.

  Eating my breakfast.

  “Damian!”

  “Yes?”

  “That was mine!”

  “It was. Not anymore.”

  “Why?”

  “You weren’t really hungry. I was. So I’m eating. If you want food, you have to earn it.”

  “Earn it how?”

  His mouth twisted into a cruel smirk. “That is the question, isn’t it? Perhaps a hungry belly will make you more obedient. What do you think?”

  I charged into the room only to fall hard onto my knees. This brought Damian a modicum of amusement.

  “Careful, little girl. Hardwood floors do terrible things to knees. I’d hate to see you bruise.” He finished off the toast in one bite. “Rather I’d hate to see you bruise in this way when there’s many other more creative ways to make you hurt. Would you like to try one right now? Say for this slice of bacon?”

  I scrambled back up onto my feet, wincing from the ache already throbbing in my poor knees. “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  No.

  Damian smiled in a way which suggested he knew me for a perverted liar. “Do they hurt?”

  I shifted from one leg to the other, bemused at the interest he’d taken. “A little.”

  He nodded. “I don’t expect you to repeat that mistake again. You will make others though.” Damian picked up another bacon slice. He chewed, eyes alight in speculation, before taking a delicate swallow of juice. “I look forward to them.”

  I linked my fingers together, the outward picture of innocence. “Why?”