Adrian Read online

  Victoria ran a fingertip over the glass edge. She glanced at him before quickly looking away. Pain tattooed the space over his heart. He’d seen that look a million times before.

  Shy, sinfully sweet, and so much like the kitten he named her so long ago.

  Adrian didn’t lack anything in the world. He had money, power, prestige, and the all the doors in the world would swing open for him at his will.

  Sitting there in a darkened bar, Adrian madly wished he could trade it all just so Victoria could be his kitten once again.

  Why, kitten? Why did you have to run from me? All I wanted to do was love you.

  Victoria nodded and said, “Okay.” She gifted him a gentle smile. “I like being here with you, Adrian.”

  His heart squeezed. He tossed her a charming grin as if his heart wasn’t breaking. “Do you now?”

  “Yes. I always liked being with you, no matter where we were. Just as long as I was with you, I was happy.”

  Adrian casually sipped his bourbon, trying to buy time to compose his thoughts. He shoved it off and decided to go for unfiltered honesty. “It was the same for me. More so. In all these years, you’re still the only one I ever wanted to come home to.”

  Victoria’s startled gaze flew to his. Her lush mouth opened in surprise. “I would’ve thought you’d already replaced me ten times over.”

  A crack of bitter laughter pushed past his throat. “Replace you? Impossible.” His hooded stare challenged. “What? You don’t believe me?”

  ***

  Victoria closed her eyes for too-short of a time. She wanted to savor his confession, to take it as an invitation back into his life. But she was afraid. Victoria was afraid that she was wrong, that even if Adrian meant every word he said, what would happen when she told him about Adriana?

  How could he ever forgive her for keeping their daughter a secret?

  Victoria had been so close to telling him just now, but her cowardice made it easy to accept Adrian’s suggestion for later. She would tell him before she left for home.

  Definitely.

  It was one thing to live in her little bubble with Adriana, never seeing Adrian to justify her continued silence—even if she doubted the wisdom of her decision every day.

  It was another to see him in the flesh, to be sitting within feet of him, and deny him the existence of their daughter.

  Victoria looked at him, painfully intense gaze running over every inch of his beloved face. “I want to believe you.”

  “But?”

  She responded to his barely-leashed aggression with a fatalistic shrug. “Adrian, I let you go for a reason. Don’t tempt me to be selfish.”

  “Selfish?”

  Once Victoria had been brave enough to take a chance in her feelings and leap towards him. Despite the heartbreak and sorrow that came later, she didn’t regret taking her chance. Aching for the possibility, no matter how slim, of being that girl again, Victoria didn’t want to hide her feelings.

  Especially not when she’d already hid so much from him.

  “Adrian, I never stopped wanting you. Not for one second. Not back then and not now.”

  He tossed back the rest of his drink and stood up. Victoria straightened, confused and worried that perhaps her words had deeply angered him. Maybe the idea of hearing she’d pined over him for years disturbed him and all he wanted was to leave Victoria to her pitiful feelings.

  Adrian put on his coat. He then held out his hand, “Come.”

  That one word became a switch. She was instantly transported back to the countless times she was pinned beneath him as he rasped that one word in her ear.

  “Come.”

  Victoria stood up. Excitement fluttered deep in her belly. She didn’t question his command or what would happen next.

  Adrian went to her side and held out her coat. She slipped her arms in and then trembled when she felt his beautiful hands rest on her shoulders.

  “I want you to come home with me, Victoria. Now.”

  Oh God.

  Victoria leaned against him and immediately felt his hardness press exquisitely against her backside. She wished they were someplace private. If they were, Victoria would bend over without hesitation for him. Already she could feel his hand clutch the base of her head, fingers entangled sweetly in her hair, as he stretched her unmercifully.

  Victoria’s breath came quicker.

  “Will you?” Adrian pressed against her. He obviously had no doubt she could feel every hard inch of him. He wasn’t ashamed and neither was she.

  She leaned her head back against his chest and let out a soft moan.

  “Yes.”

  EIGHTEEN

  Adrian led her to the private elevator, one hand on the small of her back as was his custom. He managed to keep his hand there, just there in that sweet curve, when all he really wanted to do was tear off her clothes and ravish her against the paneled wall.

  Victoria’s cheeks remained high in color. She looked at him every so often, dark eyes gleaming with desire and unrestrained love. Adrian couldn’t let himself bask in it, not yet.

  He couldn’t take the chance that come morning she’d regret their night. He believed his heart, frozen as it’d been without her, would simply crack into oblivion if that was the case. Adrian had spent too many years keeping himself protected to take that chance with Victoria now.

  Especially with Victoria.

  Yet, being so close to her, to feeling the heat of her beneath his hand…God, it was a torment too pleasurable to walk away from. If there was any possibility that this glorious woman could come back into his life, it would start with tonight.

  The elevator opened. She took a couple of steps into the foyer and stopped. Adrian viewed the rooms through her eyes. Everything had changed. He had every piece of furniture replaced. The changes swept through the kitchen, the walls, and even the bathrooms.

  Adrian’s memories of their life together were enough to torment him. He hadn’t wanted the physical reminders as well.

  “It looks nice. Very masculine.”

  Sweet Victoria. Polite as always.

  Dark wood, gray, cobalt, and spots of gold had transformed the penthouse into stylish anonymity. Adrian wondered if it pleased Victoria or saddened her. He didn’t doubt she’d correctly interpreted the changes as a way to erase her presence.

  What was there to say? It was the truth.

  “May I take your coat?”

  She tore her gaze away from the living room, specifically the spot where the leather couch once occupied. “Thank you.”

  His thoughts strayed to the memories he imagined she shared.

  “Kitten! I’m home!”

  Did she miss those times as acutely as he did? Did she miss sitting on his lap while he unwound from his hectic and long days?

  Without thought, his hands went towards her but Victoria undid the sash before he could. Adrian tried not to read too much into it or see rejection where none might’ve existed.

  Still, he watched her intently.

  He waited as she undid each button. Adrian focused on each inch that exposed her to him. Coiled, he was ready to spring and push her to the floor.

  Not good. I don’t have the right to do that now. I might not have the right to do it at all.

  Victoria’s gaze found his. Adrian’s heartbeat quickened. Her hunger mirrored his. He carefully slid her coat off when all he really wanted to do was yank it off her body, along with the rest of her clothes.

  Adrian’s precise movements belied the urgency pounding through him. The hunger for her, denied for so long, threatened to overtake his good sense. He wanted everything, but a kiss could assuage him. Just one kiss on the nape of her neck…and then her shoulder…and her back…and the curve of her hip…

  He took a deliberate step back and turned away from her. Once both their coats were hung, Adrian turned back with a pleasant, but false, expression.

  “Would you like some dessert?”

  Victoria inhal
ed, soft but deep, as she stared at his mouth. He would’ve smiled at her obvious thoughts, but he hurt too damned much. She lowered her gaze and answered, “Yes.”

  He noted the paper bag she still clutched in her hand. “You can set that down if you’d like.”

  She looked about, uncertainty pulling her lush mouth into a pout. Adrian didn’t offer to help. He selfishly wanted her to come to him for it.

  “Where should I put it?”

  “How about in the closet with our coats?” He held out his hand and Victoria handed over the bag. Curiously, he wondered what was so important for her to have refused to let it out of her sight until now.

  Once he put the bag in the closet, Adrian led her to the remodeled kitchen, one hand still on her back and closer than ever to feeling her bare flesh against his skin.

  Adrian turned on the light. He wondered if the industrial-chic palette offended her feminine tastes. He couldn’t help but remember all the time she’d spent in this very kitchen. Even now Adrian still missed her cooking to an unhealthy degree.

  Her cooking? Hell, I miss everything about her.

  Having Victoria here was harder than he expected. Memories came at him left and right, made all the worse because seeing all the external changes proved it hadn’t made a dent on the internal.

  They walked to the massive island. “Have a seat, Victoria.” Adrian gave into his desire to touch her. He lifted her up on the stool. He couldn’t bite back a smile at seeing how far off the ground she was. “It’s a long way down for you, isn’t it?”

  Victoria swung her legs in gentle rhythm and remarked with an impish grin, “I bet your feet stay on the floor, don’t they?”

  “I’m afraid so, kitten.” The pet name slipped out. Her eyes misted. Adrian abruptly turned away but the feel of her hand on his arm stopped him.

  “Please don’t turn away from me, Adrian.”

  Adrian wasn’t in enough control of himself to give into her plea. He had to stand there and wait.

  Victoria’s fingers squeezed him once. “That was one of the things I missed so much about you.” She laughed. “I can’t see a cat or a kitten without remembering you.”

  Although he held himself stiffly, Adrian wanted nothing more than to snatch her off the stool and lay her on the island. He didn’t just want to make love to her. He wanted to love her. He wanted her to hold him in her arms like she used to, stroking his hair and making Adrian feel that for once in his life he finally had a home.

  It hurt.

  “Please look at me.”

  Adrian turned slowly. He steeled himself but her miserable expression laid him low.

  Victoria licked her lips and opened herself to him further. “I can’t count how many things I missed about you. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I haven’t thought of you. I just…I…I think you should know that.”

  Her words pierced him. His walls started crumbling and bottled up emotion seeped out.

  “Then why did you leave me without you for so long, Victoria? Don’t you know I’ve been waiting for you all these years, kitten?”

  ***

  Victoria squeezed his arm. She found it harder to draw in a full breath of air. Why was she trying to dredge up the past? They’d broken up. It was done. Over.

  But I wished it hadn’t happened. I wished I’d reacted differently when he proposed.

  Victoria couldn’t deny her feelings. She wished that she still lived here with Adrian and their daughter. She wished the living room was filled with soft furnishings, light-colored walls, and Adriana’s toys scattered about. She wished that this was still her kitchen and more than anything, she wished that she had said “Yes” to Adrian’s proposal four years before.

  It was foolish of her to have turned him down and walked away. All these years she had believed that setting Adrian free was the greatest act of love she could’ve shown him. Now she knew herself for a liar. She hadn’t set him free.

  She’d just run away because she was scared he didn’t want her anymore.

  “I’m sorry, Adrian. I didn’t know.”

  “Why not?”

  His sharp question couldn’t hide the raw pain festering beneath those two words. “I never imagined I mattered that much to you.”

  Adrian grabbed her by the arms and pulled her to him. “How could you doubt it? You’re the first woman I’ve ever loved, Victoria! You were the only one I really let into my life. The. Only. One.”

  All her sins had come home to roost. There was nowhere to hide and no way she could deny the tragedy she’d set into motion when she gave into her fear.

  “I couldn’t believe it because I was afraid!”

  “Of what? Of me?”

  “Yes!”

  Fire lit his gaze bright, turning Adrian’s eyes amber. “Of what, Victoria? Tell me!”

  Considering how much of a liar she turned out to be, the least Victoria could do was tell him this much of the truth. “I was afraid you were cheating on me, that you got bored of me because you pulled away so much in that last month.”

  “I pulled away because I was trying to figure out what our next steps should be.”

  “But I didn’t know that because you didn’t talk to me.”

  “You’re right. I didn’t. Then you just left.”

  ***

  It was true. She just left and there wasn’t anything Victoria could do to change that course.

  But she could change this moment. Right now.

  “Adrian. I’m sorry.”

  He closed his eyes. Victoria recognized the pain on his face because she saw it on her own every day.

  Trapped in his arms as she was, Victoria couldn’t reach up and kiss his mouth. But she could touch him on his chest. She felt his heart beating strongly against her palm.

  “Adrian, I’m here now and I want to be here with you.”

  He opened his eyes. They were bright with pain and frustration. “You want to fuck me, right?”

  She dragged in a deep breath. Adrian seemed stretched to the breaking point. Victoria wanted him to break free.

  “Yes. I want to fuck you. I want you to fuck me. And when all that is over, when we’re no longer so angry and hungry, then I want to make love with you. I want to touch and kiss you all over. Can I do that, Adrian? Please?”

  He let out a feral cry and sunk his hands deep in her hair. Adrian’s firm mouth slashed across her, tongue driving deep into her open mouth. The time for talking was over.

  Victoria’s hands greedily snatched at any part of Adrian she could reach. He bent her over his arm and tugged her dress up. She gasped in dizzying pleasure as he suckled on her ear lobe. He gripped her jaw, gently, keeping her still for his possession and giving her no choice but to accept his pleasure.

  “I need you. I’ve always needed you, kitten.”

  The words inflamed her. Victoria traced a line down his shoulder. “I’ve always needed you too, Adrian. It’s always been you. Every time I touch myself, every time I come…”

  He yanked Victoria off her feet. His lips covered her after saying, “No! The past doesn’t matter…not tonight.”

  Victoria kissed him back as hard as he kissed her. She wrapped her legs and arms around him feeling every inch of her was on fire. Victoria just couldn’t get close enough to Adrian.

  He carried her out of the kitchen and into his bedroom. Adrian laid her in the middle of his platform bed, barely allowing them to stop kissing long enough for yank all their clothes off. Adrian then kneeled over her. His molten gaze appreciated every inch of her naked skin.

  Victoria crossed her arms over her breasts. They were larger than when she was with Adrian. That wasn’t the only difference. Everything about her was lusher. She also had a few stretch marks on her hips, belly, and thighs. Shyness descended as she wondered if Adrian would find the changes in her body lacking.

  Adrian’s hands slid across her thighs. “Why are you covering up, Victoria?”

  Breathless and hoping his ha
nds wouldn’t stop until they reached her wet core, she answered, “I’m nervous.”

  “Of what?”

  “Of you seeing me.”

  His gaze flared. “Why? You’re so beautiful, kitten.”

  “Really? You don’t find me too…round?”

  He laughed softly. “If you mean perfect, then yes. I find you perfect, Victoria.” Adrian skated his palm over the gentle curve of her belly. “My Victoria is all grown up now. She’s a woman. A beautiful woman whose body is…” Adrian groaned in masculine appreciation when she let her arm drop. “God, your tits. I just want to suck on them all night long.”

  She dropped her gaze, gasping his name much to Adrian’s amusement.

  His mouth curled into a luscious grin. “That too crude, babe?”

  “Maybe just a little.”

  “Still feeling shy, kitten?”

  “A little.”

  “Hmm, is that so? I seem to remember exactly how to make your shyness go away.” Adrian bent down and licked a trail from her belly up to her neck. He then kissed her neck and growled, “Cup your tits for me. Now.”

  Victoria hesitated for just a second. She offered them up to him, blushes staining her cheeks and excitement drumming a tattoo throughout her body.

  Adrian smiled and purred, “Perfect.”

  ***

  Victoria visibly burned for him and Adrian was drunk on his power over her. Having her back in his bed was like a million wishes coming true all at once. He could barely contain the urge to pounce on her. Feeling her beneath him and touching her satin skin became its own special addiction. He wanted to be in her right this second, but the need to savor Victoria dominated everything.

  Who knows how long we’ll have?

  Despite the darkness of his thoughts, Adrian gently took Victoria’s nipple and squeezed. She inhaled sharply and arched into his hand. He did it again. “Do you like that?”

  She nodded and whispered, “Yes.”

  He leaned down, still pinching her nipple, and flicked his tongue along the turgid point. When she reached out and brushed her hand along his rock-hard shaft, Adrian drug his teeth across her nipple in sweet punishment.