My Love Forgive Read online

  Damian sensed my need to study our surroundings. Either that or the fact I stopped walking tipped him off. He let go of my hand. Looking over my shoulder, I waited for Damian to give me instruction. He shook his head and waited with hands in his coat pockets.

  Hesitant, but full of curiosity, I walked about the first floor. Damian trailed me, not too far but not too close either. Silently, I entered the living room. Or was it called the salon?

  Whatever it was officially called, the room was decorated in yellow, blue, and white with accents of gold scattered throughout. Exquisite crown molding anchored the soaring ceiling and the draperies puddled on the floor like only heavy silk could. I searched for personal photos, anything to give hint at Damian and the life I didn’t know anything about.

  I left that room and slowly explored a few of the others. They all seemed to serve a purpose—music room, sunroom, dining room, kitchen. Every room complimented the one before in color and design.

  I finally stopped back to where we started.

  “Your house is beautiful.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry I broke one of your windows.”

  A tiny smile and then “I’m not.”

  I didn’t know what else to say so I waited for Damian to fill in the gap. Never a chatterbox, he didn’t seem to mind the ever-growing silence. I cleared my throat. “So, uh, is there anything you’d like to share with me?”

  “No.”

  A small sigh escaped me. Damian obviously had no desire to satisfy my curiosity. If he wanted to tell me, he would. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t. It was all ridiculously simple in his mind even if it was inconvenient for mine.

  Just ease my mind that you’re not some kind of criminal.

  My irritation melted as quickly as it appeared.

  I’ve known that about my lover and yet I still loved him and enjoyed being with Damian every chance I got. What difference did it really make how he got this house if it was his?

  He’d tell me when he was ready and that was that.

  “Okay. What do you want to do next?”

  “Do you really have to ask?” His lusty stare left no doubt about what he had in mind.

  I took one step back until I was on the staircase. “I guess I don’t.”

  I didn’t wait for him to reply. Instead, I turned around and sprinted up the stairs. When Damian caught me within seconds, I was sure my laughter echoed throughout the house.

  43

  We spent the rest of the day in bed. It was decadent, glorious, and everything that showed me just how much I was missing before. Damian was still Damian, curt with his words and watchful as always, but there was a tenderness that permeated everything he did.

  Not when he disciplined me, of course, but afterwards. Then he held me, gently wiping away my tears every time I became overwhelmed by my wayward emotions.

  And when I say we spent it in bed, that’s pretty much what we did. The only time we left it was to eat, to bathe, or when Damian had to work. Even then he wanted me with him. Curled up in a chair, I spent more time watching him than reading my book.

  Sunday spilled into Monday. I woke up early, unable to sleep and nervous at the thought of not calling into work. Although I tried to push it out of my mind I couldn’t. I started to slide out from under his arm but he stopped me. “What are you doing, Risa? Go to sleep.” He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my thigh in soothing circles.

  I laid there, basking under his soothing touch but compelled to whisper, “Is there a phone here I can use?”

  He opened one sleepy eye. It glittered like burnished gold in the predawn shadows. “Why?”

  “I want to call in and let work know I’m not coming today.”

  Damian shut his eye and smothered a yawn. “Completely unnecessary.”

  “I’m not going to say anything about us, Damian, or what happened this weekend.”

  “I know you won’t.”

  “All right then. I just need to—”

  Damian tucked me closer to him and shushed me. “It’s already taken care of, Risa. Go back to sleep.”

  “But how?”

  “It just is.”

  I tried to let it go. A minute or so passed before I whispered his name. Once. Twice. Damian groaned loudly in irritation. I yelped and tried to roll out of the bed. His hand whipped out and caught me by the ankle, leaving me in a rather vulnerable position.

  “You obviously wanted me awake. I’m awake.”

  I tried to shake him off. Damian tightened his hold until I stopped. “I’m sorry I woke you up. You can go back to bed now.” He grumbled and sounded so peeved I couldn’t help but laugh. I swallowed it when I saw his disgruntled frown.

  “It’s so funny that you woke us up when we just went to sleep two hours ago. My humor must be off.”

  Or nonexistent.

  “Well, okay maybe it’s not that funny.”

  Damian’s large hand landed hard on my naked bottom. “I agree.” He smacked me again. I was already sore from our earlier play so it didn’t take too much pressure for me to cry out. “It’s not funny at all.”

  “Not even a little?”

  “No.” He spanked me again and this time my cry echoed far more loudly. Damian smirked. “Now do you want another one or would you rather curl up here next to me and go to sleep?”

  There was obviously only one correct answer. Even a masochist needed a break every now and then.

  But I was also stubborn. A great trait to have in sales but not so great when it came to keeping out of trouble as I was to find out sooner than later.

  When I snuck away to find a phone later that afternoon, Damian immediately found me. “What are you doing?”

  For such a large man, he had the feet of a cat. I hadn’t even heard him come in. I whirled away from the desk, undoubtedly looking guilty. “I—I…”

  “You weren’t searching for this, were you?” Damian held his cell phone up in the air.

  “Maybe.”

  He pocketed the phone and came into the room. “Risa, Risa. Whatever am I going to do with you?”

  “No one says you have to do anything. Really.” My brilliant smile, the one that pulled in deal after deal for me, did nothing to thaw him. Bummer.

  Recognizing the stalking quality of his gait, I put the desk between us. He quickly rounded it. I scuttled to the other side. He growled my name in warning. I held my hands up in supplication. “Damian, it’s just one call. A quick one.”

  Damian didn’t answer. He took one step to the left, so I took another to the right. When we circled the desk twice, he said, “We can do this all day, Risa, but you know I will catch you. The longer it takes…”

  There was no mistaking what would come next. And while I did love the roughness of our play, especially when Damian had me by the neck as he pounded away, I really did need to make that call.

  “One minute, Damian. One.”

  “This isn’t up for negotiation. You should already know that.”

  “You’re being unreasonable.”

  His gaze completely frosted. Okay, not my best move.

  “Well, it’s true!”

  “Risa, I thought you trusted me.” Damian feinted to the right before switching to the left. I barely avoided being caught. My heart pounded. His words hurt me because I could see that I was hurting him.

  “I do trust you.”

  “Then why this?”

  “Because I care about my job. Don’t put me in the position that caring about my job means that I don’t care about you.”

  Damian froze. Something akin to shock molded his features. I took my chance and made a run for the door. His steps thundered across the room. Damian picked me up and carried me out of his office and back upstairs despite my protests.

  “Risa, that’s not what I want you to feel.”

  “Well, I do.”

  “But why? Risa, I told you not to worry about it, didn’t I?”

  “I know but—”
/>   “No, Risa. Do as you’re told. Understand?”

  “No, I don’t! How come you get to work but I don’t even get to check in? What if I get fired?” I kept my complaints verbal but my body still. I didn’t want us to accidentally take a tumble down the stairs and break our necks.

  “You won’t.”

  “You’re so sure I won’t but you won’t even tell me why.”

  Damian stopped halfway up the stairs. He cursed softly under his breath. “You need the words.”

  “Yes, I need the words.”

  “Fine but don’t forget. You asked for this.”

  “What?” He didn’t answer me. He just kept striding towards his room. “Damian, what?”

  He carefully set me down on the bed. “Stay here.” When I shifted he stopped and turned back around. “Not an inch, Risa, or I’ll have to chain you again.”

  I stayed right in place.

  44

  DAMIAN

  I left the room and stood outside in the hall. The moment had come and I wasn’t sure what to say. I absolutely knew I wasn’t going to tell her about my true origins as a Konstantinov, but as far as the rest? How did I even begin?

  Discomfort. I felt it and I didn’t like it.

  I could imagine Risa’s reaction wasn’t going to be one of joy that she had landed a billionaire without even trying. No. She’d assume that I lied to her because I never planned on staying in her life for long.

  She’d think I used her.

  I couldn’t fault her logic. If it was the other way around, I’d believe the same thing. It wouldn’t matter that I told her now because Risa would only assume I’d done it because what I’d done to her this weekend. Perhaps she’d even take it as a subtle warning to not go to the police because my money made me untouchable.

  Which would be an easy conclusion to make since I wouldn’t allow her to use the phone.

  The truth was I didn’t fear that Risa was going to call in for help. I feared what she would hear when her supervisor explained he already knew of her extended absence.

  You made a mess. Clean it up. Simple. Wringing your hands like an old woman isn’t going to do anything.

  Clenching my jaw, I inhaled and exhaled for several minutes until my mind settled and emotions calmed. Decision made, I walked into the room that had been Risa’s and picked up the discarded chain.

  You can’t make it a habit to do this to Risa every time you need to tell her something she won’t like.

  Maybe that was true. However, I needed to make an exception this time because Risa was a runner and when I told her what I needed to she’d definitely try to take off.

  When I walked back into the bedroom, Risa visibly startled at what was in my hands.

  “This again? Is this really necessary, Damian? I thought we moved past this kind of stuff?”

  I didn’t hear anger or fear in her tone. Merely curiosity and a bit of chagrin. Perhaps it wasn’t going to go over as badly as I predicted.

  “Forgive me, Risa, but you’ll understand in a few minutes why I feel the need to take this precaution.”

  If anything, her face paled. A shaky grin and then “You’ve never asked my forgiveness before. This must be bad.”

  I couldn’t comfort her so I didn’t even try. I slipped her boots off, wishing it was for the same reason as last time. Keeping her socks on, I closed the manacle over her ankle. Guilt touched me. Risa would not handle this well at all.

  Once I secured the other end of the chain to the bed, I took several steps back. I raked a hand through my hair and when I realized what I’d done, I let my arm drop back down. This wasn’t going to be easy so I might as well just start.

  “Risa.”

  “Yes?”

  Looking at her beautiful face made it harder to continue. It was better if I kept my gaze somewhere else. Suddenly, I remembered how that was Risa’s favorite position every time she came near me after my first rejection. My sympathy for her grew. Facing her wasn’t easy.

  “Risa, I own this house because I paid for it. I didn’t inherit it and it wasn’t given to me. I didn’t win the lottery.”

  “Okay. Did you make some really good investments?”

  A humorless smile eased across my mouth. Of course, she’d verbalize the one thing I didn’t. “No, Risa. Not for this. I own this house because I also own your company.”

  The air left the room. I glanced her way and saw her eyes were wide with shock and disbelief. “You own it?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re not just the IT Director?”

  “No.” In for a penny, in for a pound. “Your company is just one in my portfolio.”

  She shook her head once slowly, eyes riveted to me. “There’s more?”

  “Over a hundred.”

  Risa’s shoulders hunched. “Seriously?”

  “Yes.” I faced her fully. She was bound to explode soon.

  “But…how? Why?”

  “I visit several companies every year. Different ones. I go in as a regular employee so I can really see how things are being run. From there, I go back to my headquarters and implement any necessary changes from there.”

  “Headquarters? You mean, not here? Not in this state?”

  “No. Not here.”

  Risa turned away from me. She brought her legs up and rested her chin on her knee. Her voice, although soft, remained clear. “Does anyone know at work?”

  “Only the CEO and CFO.”

  “Not Julie?”

  “No, not Julie.”

  “I see.” She still didn’t look back at me. “Did the other IT Director really get let go or is he coming back?”

  “No, he was really let go.”

  “Oh. I see now. You chose that position so you could spy more easily. You have access to our entire network and can read everything that comes through. Our surfing habits, how long we take on emails, everything.”

  I took umbrage at one word in particular. “It’s my company. It’s not spying.”

  “Yes, it is. You’re going to use what you found against people. You’re going to fault them for being human, for having a life outside of working for you. People have a right to take time for themselves, to have fun at work, to be something other than corporate drones. We can’t work non-stop, Damian. We need a certain amount of freedom.”

  Risa stopped abruptly. She picked up the chain and dropped it.

  “Wait. You probably don’t understand that, do you?”

  What? How did this turn into a discussion of business ethics? And why were we going back over my methods to keep her here? We saw each other’s respective sides. The fact that it worked out proved my methods were correct.

  “Need I remind you, Risa, you lost? You agreed to wear the chain if I wanted you to.”

  She tipped her chin back. “I’m not fighting you. About this.”

  “Risa, my being here isn’t to spy on how much time Sales surfs the net or whether my company resources are being used to watch movies online. As long as production remains in line, and it is, your collective methods are your own.”

  “Oh. Then why are you here?”

  “To make sure the company culture isn’t one that’s going to get me fined from here into eternity. To make sure the company heads aren’t just telling me what they think I want to hear. To know the truth.”

  Risa didn’t immediately reply. She drew circles on the bed with her ring finger. “How long are you supposed to be here?”

  “I’ve already left.”

  This got her attention. She jerked her head up. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m done. I’ve learned everything I need to know and my assignment is over.”

  “Just like that.”

  I nodded. My neck prickled. Risa’s rage would be showing itself anytime now. Her recriminations would be difficult to subdue especially given to how this weekend progressed.

  “Is that why you didn’t want me to call in today? Because everyone knows now and would tell me?�
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  “No one knows. They’ll just think that I was temporary to begin with.”

  “Is that your story?”

  I nodded.

  “And me?” She swallowed hard. “Am I fired for getting involved with you?”

  “We’re more than involved, Risa.” My suggestive grin didn’t seem to move her at all. In fact, her gaze narrowed and the first signs of anger licked her expression.

  “You go out undercover several times a year, right?”

  I had the feeling I wasn’t going to like what would happen after I answered.

  45

  RISA

  “Correct.”

  How did he manage to still sound so cool and detached? Hurt mingled with anger the longer I looked at Damian. Now I understood why he chained me up again. If he thought this would be enough to keep me from hitting the crap out of him, Damian had another thing coming.

  “So were you planning on telling me at all or was I going to find out when you never came back?”

  His luscious mouth tightened. “I wouldn’t have gotten involved with you if I never planned on telling you.”

  A terrible thought thundered through me. I suddenly felt sick. “How many times have you done this, Damian? At every company? Is that how you pass the time when you’re going slumming? Seduce a girl and spank her silly?” He took a step towards me. I backed up on the bed and held out a hand. “Don’t!”

  Like always, Damian didn’t listen.

  He pulled me onto my lap even though I was fighting him at every turn. His large hands cupped my face, forcing me to look up at him even though I didn’t want to. “I’ve never done this before, Risa.”

  “Oh God. Gretchen. Is that how you met her?”

  Damian gave me a decisive head shake. “No.”

  “Then how did you meet her?”

  “It wasn’t through work.”

  Once again, Damian sidestepped my question. He’d done it so often it was commonplace but now in light of knowing who he was…

  God. He wasn’t just a regular guy. He wasn’t someone I could ever really spend my life with because Damian Black didn’t’ really exist…