My Love Protect Read online

  Sadist. Bully. Master manipulator. Master…

  No. Keep your mind on the present. On being united. Joined in this mission against…hell.

  I still didn’t know who. Damian all but promised me a talk later, but nothing had come of it yet.

  I’d been more than patient. I’d given him space, silence, and submission. I needed to know why we were here. I needed to know when this was going to be over. I needed to know when Damian would be safe.

  Most of all, I needed Damian to go back to normal.

  He wasn’t this nice. Ever. Not without a reason and especially not with me.

  Discreetly watching him, I wondered if Damian mocked me with his performance. He never cared for my description of nice. Nice was a boring word to Damian.

  I always disagreed. Until now.

  I’d seen him smile here more than I had in the entire first month we were together. Not once were his words clipped. Nor did he give me that unblinking stare that lit me on fire because it always came before he threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled me to him for a fiery kiss.

  Or pushed me to my knees so I could take his cock in my mouth.

  I should’ve welcomed Damian’s pleasantness with open arms. Instead, I wanted to get a shovel and bury it in the garden.

  What did that say about me?

  You’re a head case. That’s what it says.

  Aggressiveness stalked me.

  What was the point of this? To drive me crazy? To distract me from the world outside? To push every button I had? To make me submit even more?

  “Know the next time I’m deep inside you it’s going to be because you beg me.”

  Maybe that was the point of all this? Manipulation to either make me sweet or prove I didn’t want nice. To show I craved Damian’s coldness because I was a masochistic for it.

  Which was neither here nor there.

  All of this was a distraction from the real reason why we were stuck in this isolated mansion. I’d played long enough. It was time to put it to bed.

  Telling choice of words. No wonder Damian doesn’t take you seriously. You always either want to fuck him or kiss him. You’re ruled by your passions. That’s why Damian doesn’t see you as his equal.

  No. That couldn’t be true. I told Damian what I needed in this relationship.

  He agreed…hadn’t he?

  “Damian, I need to talk to you.” My voice came out sharper than planned.

  He looked up from his spot on the sofa next to me. I stared at Damian for an indecent period of time because he was wearing his reading glasses and fuck me! He was too damned beautiful for a man.

  It wasn’t fair. Really it wasn’t.

  Damian rested his book on his lap. “Very well. What would you like to talk about, my love?”

  Dammit. Even that was nice.

  “How much longer before we can leave?”

  He cocked his head, charming smile ready. “Are you not enjoying our little vacation?”

  Was he teasing or trying to prick me into a bad mood? I couldn’t tell and once upon a time I thought I knew every nuance of emotion he was capable of having. Now I doubted everything, seeing malice where there was none and seeing sweetness when I should’ve sensed danger.

  “I’d hardly call this a vacation, Damian.”

  “Hmm, really? No irritating phone calls, no meetings, no late nights…working. Here alone with you? You’re right. I wouldn’t call this a vacation. I’d call this heaven.”

  I wasn’t immune to his charm, but I didn’t let myself like it. Too much.

  Damian wasn’t wordy. Rather he was sparse, straight-to-the-point. He wasn’t prone to flowery speeches and while this one didn’t suffocate with sweetness, it wasn’t him.

  Damian truly was a master at driving me crazy. He gave me what I always said I wanted and proved me a misguided fool.

  “You’re not answering my question.”

  Damian smiled but remained silent.

  I counted to ten. Why was I so pissy lately? Beyond the obvious. It felt like I couldn’t contain my emotions. I was either flaming mad or bursting into tears.

  Uh, duh. Look at the rollercoaster your life’s been on. Anybody would be feeling the same way.

  My foot tapped against the floor. “Fine. If you won’t answer my question, then I’ll have to come up with my own conclusion.”

  Damian didn’t say anything. He merely continued to watch me like a lazy cat might right before it pounced. Beguiling danger sparked between us. I leaned into it.

  “I think we’re going to leave in two days. We’ve been off the grid long enough. There’s no guards visibly patrolling the grounds so I can only imagine you’ve contained the threat since they’re posted farther away.”

  Damian shrugged, gorgeous smile seemingly tattooed onto his kissable mouth.

  My voice grew in pitch, the syllables blurring into one another.

  “It’s really a shame I couldn’t have visited Romania in better circumstances. I mean, it’s shrouded in mystery. Dracula, the Iron Curtain. All kinds of fascinating things I’m sure.”

  Nothing.

  My speech tripped over itself. I sounded manic. My foot tapped faster, causing my calf muscles to ache.

  “I bet we’re not that far from Transylvania. Did you know Vlad Dracul’s castle is haunted? I’d love to stay the night, like the paranormal shows do. Think I’d be able to catch EVPs? Maybe even footage?”

  Finally, he spoke.

  “Do you mean a single word you’ve said?”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to say “No” when I found that wasn’t entirely true. If this was a normal vacation, I’d actually want to do it.

  Wait a minute.

  Why the fuck was I talking about Vlad Dracul and ghosts? Was I just that desperate to get this man to crack?

  I slammed my heel against the floor. “Aren’t you going to tell me I’m stupid to believe in ghosts?”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Because that’s what a servant to science would say.”

  “The only one I serve is you, Risa.”

  Want and need punched me hard in the gut. I loved his dominance but I couldn’t ignore the jolt of lust I felt at believing, even for a second, that this powerful creature would share his power with me.

  “Is that so?”

  He smiled.

  “All right then. I want to talk about the apartment.”

  Damian moved the thick tome he’d been reading from his lap to the coffee table. Turning back to me, he mused, “There’s millions of other topics. Wouldn’t you rather choose something different?”

  “No. I wouldn’t.”

  “Very well.” He crossed his legs and leaned back. “Ask away.”

  Too easy. Which meant it wasn’t going to be this easy.

  “Will you answer them?”

  His mouth curved into a winsome smile, as if he was proud of me. “It depends.”

  “Of course.” Frustration tightened my hands into fists. Always the word mazes when it came to him.

  “Don’t give up, little girl. I may surprise you just yet.”

  Sadist. Bully.

  Very well. He wanted to drag things out like this? Play with me and get me worked up? So be it.

  “Who’s the dead man?”

  Damian shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. He’s dead.”

  “Okay. Why was he there?”

  “To do bad things.”

  Damian didn’t elaborate. He merely settled an impassive gaze on me. We could’ve been talking about roses or a documentary on insects for all the passion he showed.

  “Beyond the obvious. Why that night?”

  He shrugged. “Bad timing. For him.”

  “How did you know he was going to be there?”

  Damian didn’t answer me.

  “Did it surprise you?”

  Silence.

  “Are there more coming?”

  Nothing.

  I slowly co
unted to five, conscious of keeping my raging emotions to myself. I doubted I did a good job at it but hell—at least I tried. There had to be something I could pull out of him.

  “You were really comfortable handling your weapon.”

  Damian shrugged again.

  Okay. It wasn’t the first time he’d shot a gun. He’d had plenty of practice. Was it simply recreation or protection?

  I suddenly thought back to the clinic in Switzerland. All those bodyguards were there for Damian. Why were they Russian instead of American?

  Because Elaine is Russian? She speaks it fluently, at least from what I could tell.

  Yeah, and Damian could speak numerous languages as well. That didn’t mean anything. But her accent was perfect. I couldn’t tell a difference between her tone and the guards.

  No. There was nothing in it at all to betray her as anything other than American. So why Russian guards? Maybe so it couldn’t be traced back to a company in the States?

  Of all the languages to know, Elaine and Damian know Russian. It’s not a coincidence. But why is there a Russian connection? Why?

  “Risa, just ask me.”

  I looked up at Damian in surprise. He smiled.

  “Your gears are grinding again.”

  “Why bother asking? You won’t answer.”

  “You won’t know until you try.”

  “Is Elaine Russian?”

  “You know she’s American as am I.”

  “Elaine told me you’re adopted.” Shock shot across his face. I’d shaken him but I didn’t feel triumph. In that moment, I felt like I’d betrayed him by learning it from someone else. “Were you born in Russian?”

  It would explain some things.

  Damian’s chest rose in easy rhythm. His placid expression remained the same. But I felt the air around him charge violently.

  “I wasn’t supposed to know that, was I?”

  He carefully answered, “No one knows about my adoption.”

  “I see.”

  But I didn’t. I didn’t understand why it was a secret. With anyone else I’d view it as a private detail. Damian’s reaction, hidden as it may have been, proved it wasn’t about privacy. There was definitely something more.

  “Damian, what do you know about your birth parents?”

  He leaned across the loveseat and rested his hand on my knee. “That’s enough on that subject.”

  Gentle as it may have been, this was the tone Damian used when I was one second away from discipline. I reacted to it now the same way I did then.

  Push. Pull.

  “Why are you being so secretive about everything? You won’t tell me anything even though you promised!”

  “I promised you we’d talk. We are.”

  “That’s not what was implied and you know it!”

  “I tell you what you need to know.”

  “I deserve to know the full truth.”

  “You deserve many things, Risa, especially being taken care of. I won’t let anything interfere with doing that—including you.”

  “We’re supposed to be equals, Damian. I told you I needed that for any of this to work!”

  “We are equals, Risa, in every way that counts. Even though you are my little girl I don’t see you as beneath me.”

  “Cut the crap, Damian!”

  His brows dipped low over his eyes in a frown. “Language, Risa.”

  I shot up off the couch, dumping the fur throw onto the floor.

  “Really, Damian? Now is the time to worry about my language?”

  “Nothing changes, little girl. The rules still apply even though we’re at a momentary impasse.”

  I loved this man. Really I did. But when he acted like this…argh! Raking my fingers through my hair, I let out a scream.

  “Your old rules don’t apply to me! Not anymore! Our relationship is not what it was! How many times do I have to tell you? Everything is different now!”

  Damian stood up. He towered over me and said, “Just as much as I have to tell you I don’t accept your terms.”

  “I don’t have terms because we’re not negotiating.”

  His palm skated down my arm. “Of course, you do and we are.”

  I couldn’t control my reaction to his touch even though I wanted to stay deep in my frustration. Instead, I found myself leaning closer as the heat of his hand branded me.

  “If we’re negotiating then you’ll give me something.”

  “Perhaps.”

  “Give me information.”

  “I can do that.” His eyes gleamed eerily in triumph.

  Damn! Did I misstep?

  I wasn’t ashamed to admit I was way out of my depth when it came to negotiating with Damian. He was a master at getting what he wanted and making sure the other party didn’t.

  I didn’t want to be his opponent. I wanted to be his partner.

  “Give me answers to the questions I’ve asked. The ones you haven’t answered today.”

  Damian cupped my chin. “I can’t do that, little girl.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s not important to you.” When I opened my mouth to protest he tapped the side of my cheek with one finger. “I realize it’s important to you, but it’s not important in the big picture for us.”

  “I don’t agree.”

  “I know, but trust me.”

  Was he that arrogant or just that damned blind?

  “Never mind us or all of the baggage we have between us. How can I fully trust you when I still don’t understand any of what’s going on? When you won’t tell me anything important?”

  Damian closed his eyes. “I’ll tell you what you need to know.”

  “I’ve given you two days, Damian, in the hopes you’d open up on your own.”

  “You know the kind of man you fell in love with, Risa. I prefer to keep things to myself.” He sounded perturbed beneath the softly spoken words.

  “I’m not asking you to spill all your secrets, Damian.”

  Or am I?

  No, I couldn’t get sidetracked.

  “I need to know why we’re in hiding. I need to know why people are after you, Damian. After me.”

  He clenched his jaw but said nothing.

  “Are my parents safe?”

  “Yes. I won’t let anything happen to them.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “I have people on it.”

  “Information is a basic right you’re denying me. I shouldn’t have to drag every little piece out.”

  “Risa…”

  “You ask me to trust you, but it’s obvious you still don’t trust me.”

  “That’s not it.”

  “Then why? I deserve to know.”

  “It’s not about deserving. The less you know, the better.”

  “For who? For me or for you?”

  35

  DAMIAN

  Risa’s intuitiveness threatened to undermine all my good intentions.

  She couldn’t understand how difficult this was for me. I didn’t keep her in the dark out of diminishment. I kept her in the dark because she was the one person in the world I couldn’t lose and the truth would drive her away.

  I could lose my fortune. Money could be made and replaced.

  I could lose my life. I lived longer than I deserved. Fate had been more than kind.

  I could lose my family. I already lost my first one. I wasn’t a stranger to loss.

  But not Risa. I couldn’t lose her.

  Did it make me selfish? Of course. I determined long ago Risa was irreplaceable to me and nothing the world had to offer could make me believe otherwise.

  I wasn’t going to part from her. Not today. Not tomorrow.

  I’d do whatever necessary, fair or foul, to keep Risa. Even if it meant disappointing her today so we could have a safer tomorrow.

  “I’m doing this for us, Risa. The bulk of this…situation…falls on my shoulders. I’m paying a firm a small fortune to handle it. I’m not telling you anyt
hing more than that because there isn’t anything to tell.”

  Like the proverbial dog with its bone, Risa wouldn’t let it go.

  “So I’m just supposed to stay here and pretend we’re on vacation? Like none of this ever happened, right? New York—didn’t happen. Denver—nope. Dead body. You didn’t really shoot anyone because what dead body?”

  I swallowed a sigh. My Risa was getting so worked up. It wasn’t good for her. I had to do something, but I couldn’t rely on my habits. Risa wasn’t ready for discipline and I couldn’t just kiss her into submission.

  Not until she begged me for it.

  It wasn’t pride dictating my actions, but rather my love for Risa. She needed to embrace the truth of us. We came together the way we did because our pieces fit.

  The sex and carnal violence was simply an extension. Not the reason.

  So no, I couldn’t tip her over my lap and spank the aggression right out of her. But I could hold Risa until she melted into me like she always did.

  “Risa, it’s going to be fine.”

  “Fine? How do you know that?”

  “They’re professionals who are used to the worst war-zones in the world. This situation is child’s play to them.” When I saw the argument ready to jump off her tongue, I cut in with “Do you truly believe I’d bring us here if I thought for one second you were in danger?”

  Risa swiped at the air, clearly begrudging having to admit, “No, I don’t. It’s just why won’t you involve the police or anyone in a position of authority?”

  “I am in a position of authority.”

  “That’s not what I mean and you know it.” She raked a hand through her hair before reaching for me. “It’s just…who are you, Damian? Really?”

  Risa’s quiet question cut into my fear. I would never answer it honestly. I couldn’t and still keep her.

  “You know me, little girl. Nothing that has transpired changes it.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Enough.” I picked her up easily.

  “Damian, put me down!”

  “No.”

  She lost her temper completely and roared, “Stop treating me like a child!”

  “Then stop yelling at me like one.” This infuriated Risa further. I wouldn’t back off because it was true. Still, I did my utmost to soothe her. “This is why I don’t want to involve you.”